I can't sleep.
I'm far too excited.
You see, 2009 is kicking off to a hell of a year. Its interesting too because I'm not a person who takes New Year's Day as a fresh start. Its just another day in the grueling trek of "living the dream" (BTW if you haven't figured it out by now, for MOST artists, living the dream means making crap money, giving up most of your free time, and working way harder than most people out there so that one day, about a decade into your attempts you'll be recognized and called an "overnight success!"). See I can't complain about and 2008. I was able to...
- shoot a script I really love "Still Here"
- direct a music video I've been sitting on the concept for a long time "The Afters"
- networked with a few key people I believe will be in my life for a long long time.
- close the book on a few lingering bad chapters in my life as well as some lingering business.
... so hoping or wishing for better in 2009 would just be selfish because I had a banner year. However, 2009 is going to be an extremely better year. I can't sleep because since Saturday, my life as been a bit turned upside down with opportunity. I've connected with two different parties that 100% "get" my vision/ideas and someone that HAS already been on my wavelength for over a year... but you see... I have tons of friends that believe in me and that's always been fantastic, but this turn of events on the weekend is people that can/have access/will push through some of my thought-to-be-impossible projects right to the top of the top... and its exciting! I need sleep, I'm so tired, but how do you sleep when you're in meetings that are so surreal and happening so fast you can barely keep up? Oh, and then there's that meeting with Kevin-fucking-Smith that How Many Days? has landed me on top of it all!
I wish I could talk about everything that's happening but I can't just yet... I assure you as soon as its signed, sealed, and delivered, I'll post it. Nothing I've done has been possible without all of your help and support.
This is all a build up to what I ACTUALLY want to say right now, just need you to know where its coming from.
Being an artist in any sense of the medium is about small victories and its about enjoying the ride. You have your ultimate goal(s) but if you can't enjoy everything that comes with it along the way, you should definitely pursue something else. There's a harsh truth out there that of all the actors, singers, filmmakers, writers, dancers, painters, etc out there - most will not pursue their dream to the end. Its too hard for most people. It is "impossible" coming from a blue collar town in Canada to do that. That's BULLSHIT by the way. Everyone starts somewhere and if you really think that location is your only hold back, you can move. Bon Voyage, on to bigger and better things! But again, most won't. There are a real select few that finish there marathon for the arts. This isn't to knock anyone that hasn't pursued it to the fullest. People get married, have children, reach a different point in their life, thought it would happen faster for them, didn't enjoy the struggle and found something else they were equally passionate about... and that's fantastic, that's life, that's what you gotta do sometimes... but I'm speaking to the fence sitters.
There are artists that I know saying they can't do it, they can't tour full time with their band, etc. Why not? Its what every other band that's success if doing. They didn't always have CDs that sold, tour buses, videos on Much Music. They had a dream and a plan to put that dream before much else. There will always be sacrifice. There will always be failure. I've fucked up more times than I've succeed in the last 5 years. I've embarrassed myself, I've stumbled, I've spoke out of line, I've burned bridges, I've launched ideas that have fallen flat, I've negotiated great projects piss poor and lost them... but I'm still here... and that's the point. You have to laugh it off and know its all part of doing it. How can you learn to do anything correctly if you have no experience doing it in correctly?
That being said... this will sound cheesy, but here's a 2 minute or so scene from Rocky Balboa (yes, from Rocky 6, as in did they really have to make another one?)... but its a really great father and son moment, as Rocky gives his son some motivation. WATCH IT, don't skip past it.
http://www.youtube.com/wat
Never give up. Other artists around you don't believe in you or carry a negative attitude? Drop them, find others that work better with you. We're artists, we're fickle, but most of us work in mediums that require teamwork. That's difficult for me. I want to work fast, I want to get things exactly how I want them and in the realm of being on set to do that... I'm hot-headed. I'm not for everyone... but neither is spicy food... so you just don't eat what you don't like chewing, simple. The minute you start to say that your art is anywhere it shouldn't be ENTIRELY because of someone else, you're spitting something no one should listen to. You always have control. You can always change, adapt, rethink, find new people to unite visions with and move forward. Oh, and stop caring about a paycheck. Most people can't afford you and won't afford you until you've done enough that is so good they feel a need they can't live without you on a project!
Work on other people's sets! I'm location scouting today for a friend of mine's indie-feature today. Do I need to? Not at all... I have enough on my own plate. So why do it? Well because he's helped me with my projects, he respects me, he works hard and I believe in him and his abilities to rise to the top of his game. If I can shave even so much as a day off that journey then shouldn't I help him? Shoot stuff for free with talented people that are in the same boat... find bands that need music videos for free so you can get your feet wet, help local charities.... people... doing this projects gets you two things paychecks can't buy you: experience and networking. I can't tell you how many times something I've done for free has led to the best (and yes, even paying!) opportunities of my whole life. Especially if its a choice between sitting and doing nothing that day or at least doing what you are supposed to love and you have the time. How Many Days? doesn't pay the bills. It started as a social experiment and keeps finding me great people and opportunities. People think I'm insane and some think I'm an asshole with this self-indulgent project. For those: Eat a turd. Not much else to say than that. Too each their own. I'm going after what I want and willing to put myself and all my failures out there for the world to see. Got a problem with it? Save that email or text or call for someone else cause its wasted breath. If you think after 660+ days I'll ever quit... well, enjoy the wait for that, its gonna be a long one.
If this week has taught me anything, its that surviving your worst financial periods, continuing to do "free" work is SO worth it. All the excitement in my life right now, the people that are pushing for me are on the brink of breaking something beyond my wildest dreams... the meeting with Silent Bob himself, well, its ALL come out of things I've done for love of the game and not for the colour of money (two sport movie references in one sentence... boo-ya!). Passion, believing in great charities and causes, helping other filmmakers and entrepreneurs get their start with whatever little I can offer them.
To sum it all of, just don't quit. Do more. Push harder. Never take no for an answer. I'll end with a movie clip again today. Tell 'em how it is Will Smith:
http://www.youtube.com/wat
See you all soon with good news (really it could be THAT GOOD!),
GMB
www.howmanydays.ca
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